What if I fail?: A look into the journey ahead

I GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yep, you are looking at the new Program Director and On Air Talent for X-Country 106.5.  The on air stuff I will knock out of the park. I’m excited to coach new talent in such a tiny market. I am looking forward to sponging up all of my superior's knowledge.  I am nervous, however, about keeping things fresh, new, moving and reflective of what is happening in Kankakee, in Illinois and in life.  Perhaps, that will simoultaneously be one of the things I will love most and find challenging about programming.

It’ll be a station with the Maggi touch.I can hear it now. Everything about it will scream “me.”  How incredible is that?!! I look forward to looking at this product in 6 months and a year from now and saying “Wow, look at what you did!“

I’m terrified as all get out at the same time. I’m terrified because I don’t know what to expect.  What if I’m too old to recognize good music?  Or too old to stay in touch with people in general?  What if I fail?
What. If. I. Fail?

Those words fall heavy on me because I’ve never been concerned with this concept before now.  Perhaps up until this point I haven’t had enough responsibility to warrant the fear. Perhaps the thought of failure wasn’t as scary because I had nothing to lose. Maybe even I was in a youthful, ignorant bliss.

But, what if I did fail? Let's say that the sales numbers come back and show I haven’t improved anything about the station and research indicates that listeners don’t like me. Or what if the failure is worse?  Like, my husband could become bitter and angry that I spend too much time working or commuting and not enough time on our marriage. That would be the worst disappointment of all.  But are any of these really considered failures in life? Hardly. A mistake, maybe.

 Okay. I can live with mistakes. My GOD have I made a few of them. I have learned to own up to my mistakes, learn from them and keep going. (I thank my mother for that quality). Perhaps, my awareness of the fear of failure has surfaced because I forgot that not getting enough in sales, or having people not like me, or disappointing my husband are all not failures. They are consequences of my mistakes. I don’t have to be afraid of mistakes. I actually, don’t even need to be scared of the consequences of making them, because I have made them before, owned them and moved on.  (And look at me now!!!  I‘m a PD!!!!)

None of those perceived failures are really failures at all. The only failure I can see, is wasting time being afraid of making a mistake because it would have prevented me from making any decision at all. I mean really, we learned that lesson in the 90's: "Can't forget, you only get what you give."  I plan on giving it my all and expect nothing less no matter the consequences.

My music is better than your music: A Note for the Grammy-Shamers

I have been looking forward to one of music’s biggest nights for a long time; it came and went so fast.  I was mesmerized by LL Cool J and his ability to make each performance flow as if they were all apart of the same album.  The mash ups were funky and yet they worked, the dancing was sexy, the infamous marriage ceremony made me jealous and proud all at the same time, laughing at the ridiculous Yogi Bear hat and watching each and everyone of the artists who made pop culture history this year dance to music that was very different from their own was inspiring.  Yet, social media did not reflect my views this year.  Why?  It was a pop culture event was it not?  Where did all this hate come from when the same songs that narrate our typical days were being performed on the grandest stage of them all?

Ohhh, is it because it is pop culture?!  I didn’t realize that pop culture and pop music, whether classified as pop, country, rock, classical, hip hop is still, um, popular.  Dammit radio, stop making people happy and then certainly DON’T play any of our favorite artists on television.  I may be a little biased here because I work in the radio industry and listen to the music that was showcased in the Grammy’s.  Now, this doesn’t mean I LOVED every second of it.  I had my critiques also. (WHY DID THEY LEAVE OUT DAVE GROHL’S PERFORMANCE?!!!!)  But why should I get on social media sites to pose questions like “Was Beyonce’s opening performance too sexy?” or “Pink is an acrobat.  Did she lip sync too?” when I get feedback and read other posts like “I have actual taste in music. NOT WATCHING THE GRAMMYs.”


@)*%$#(#*  What?!  Okay, so you don’t watch the Grammy’s.  Perhaps the mash-ups are a little much, the wedding was bizarre, or you have never heard of Kasey Musgraves, Kris Kristofferson or Daft Punk.  It’s overwhelming.  But do you need to Grammy-shame the rest of us?  Is your taste in music really better than mine?  Is my bias holding me back from knowing what great music is? 

I have been salty on this subject for a couple of days now.  I searched my iTunes play list and there are certainly a number of widely recognized artists.  There is also a range of older classic rock, swing, blues, jazz and underground punk.  None of which will EVER be featured on the biggest musical stage.  This fact does NOT mean that those songs are not great.  In fact, they move me and did for the artists whatever writing music is supposed to do for the soul.

 

Then I came to my senses and remembered that music, like beauty, is subjective.  My music, Taylor Swift, Bruno Mars, MxPx, Phillip Glass, Steven Sondheim, George Thorogood, Josh Grobin, John Legend, Eazy-E, among so many more, is in fact good.  These songs are not just good, they are great! If only for the fact that they remind me of memories that are beautiful, fun, ugly, sentimental or otherwise.  These songs move me, make me a better person and narrate my life.  So, yes, because I work in a place where the majority of music is pop culture, most of my day is written to the sound track of Adele, Katy Perry, Robin Thick and Imagine Dragons.  I just consider myself lucky: I work in a place that I love and enjoying music that apparently a lot of other people enjoy too.

My music, however, is not my music.  That meaning, it doesn’t belong to me. It belongs to the world.  So, this “actual taste in music” you have should not be sheltered.  SHARE IT!  You never know who you will move or touch or improve.  Besides, isn't that what songs do: bring people together?  This year, the Grammy's did a great job of doing just that. Oh, and celebrating the accomplishments of people who make and perform for all of us.


So, to the Grammy-Shamers: Do you have the Music In You? 

No New Year's Resolutions For Me; I'm Perfect!!!

We are far enough into the New Year now where most resolutions drop off into a black hole somewhere, never to be remembered.  Yet, any regular gym-goer knows that their weights won’t get re-racked and bench wiped down the correct way again until at least March. (Those are the particularly strong willed resolutioners!)  Why are we so complacent with failure?  We eat our weight in holiday cookies because we convince ourselves that New Year’s is only a week away and we’ll start our diets, er,…I mean resolutions then.

I really hate New Year’s Eve.  Not that I’m a partier normally, but it really is an Amateur’s Night.  There is so much stock into throwing a good party, or going to the best bar, but I am always let down.  No amount of shots decorated with glitter salt, party hats, and googly 2014 glasses can change the fact that you spent $20 to get your foot in the door, your date will be too drunk to do you later, and you have to start your stupid diet tomorrow.

I resolved a long time ago to STOP the madness and stop putting that much pressure on myself.  No more resolutions.  Instead, I like to look back on the year I’ve had: professionally, emotionally, physically did I learn or grow?  I won’t beat myself up if I didn’t, but it is pretty difficult to let a year go by without learning something about yourself.  Then, it’s time to set some goals: “I will run at least 3 races this year” or “I will do at least one volunteer related activity per month” or “I will love more by hugging more.”  The trick is setting tangible goals.  All of these, no matter how easy or ridiculous they seem are important tangible goals that will improve my life somehow professionally, emotionally or physically.  BONUS: they should all create some great memories to look back on next year and help me not worry so much about the cookies that appear in my oven but once a year.








Stop beating yourself up because you didn’t “get healthier” like you resolved to, just change the goal so you can touch it or really feel it.  You know, like sign up for that bicycling tour in New England you’ve always dreamed about doing, except actually do it. 

It won't be easy, but nothing worth having in life comes without its own set of challenges...but hopefully Mr. Gaye and Ms. Ross can help inspire you :)  Rock on and have a killer 2014!

I'm Not A Movie Critic....Just a Fan who noticed, Hollywood!

Let’s get one thing straight…I am not a movie critic.  In fact, I am the furthest from it.  When I go to the theater, I like to just show up and watch the next film that is playing.  This way, I never get disappointed because I haven’t gotten overly excited to see a particular film.  I haven’t been swayed by those movie guys on the radio that break down how funny, realistic, or action packed the film is.  Don’t get me wrong, I do love to go to the theater,  quoting lines from movies,  the popcorn, over-sized beverages and mostly watching actors portray the human element on the big screen. 

So, when I got home from work last week, sat down on the couch beside my hubby, I was thrilled when he blurted out “Let’s go see a movie.”  The cost of a movie ticket is pretty ridiculous, especially when a monthly subscription to Netflix gives us access to so many great films.  His enthusiasm to get out of the house was refreshing.  Well, the next movie playing was Thor 2: The Dark World.   He’s really into the Avengers so I thought, why the heck not!  I literally knew nothing about this movie except that, I remember enjoying the first film.

I enjoy a good number of action films with fast car/boat/plane/train/motorcycle chases as well as fires, bombs, explosions etc.  But, for me, what keeps me hooked is finding the lovable flaws in the characters and watching the growth because of having met the other characters.  The journey is endearing, raw, and when well written, relate-able.   Thor 2: The Dark World delivered all of these things.

Since the film at the time of this posting is still out in theaters, I’ll refrain from going into too much detail, but I will share my favorite overall general theme.  Natalie Portman plays Jane Foster, the main love interest to Thor, played by Chris Hemsworth.  Throughout the entire film, Thor defends Jane as a “strong, smart and brave woman.”  Over and over again, big, brawny, Thor sticks up for this woman and her character.  This is where I give director Alan Taylor a huge standing ovation because not once in the film does Jane get naked, nor is she portrayed as a mere sexual being.

I know this is probably very disheartening for many men, as there have been more than a handful of gentlemen that I know that would jump at the change to spend just 15 minutes with her.  Natalie Portman is undoubtedly a beautiful women.  So, I am still impressed that Hollywood decided to honor her character’s wit and smarts by refusing to portray her as anything other than how Thor views her.  This is a huge and risky step for Hollywood that did not go unnoticed.  I applaud the risk and really think this move paid off.

Again, I admit, I am not a movie critic and leave the critiques for the professionals; I am just a lover of movies and their flawed characters.  Thor and Jane were not without their flaws in this film, but I am  delighted to report that instead of belittling Jane’s character to a mere sexual being, we, the audience get to enjoy Jane Foster just as Thor does: a strong, smart and brave woman.  Like Thor, many men find that the women who play major roles in their lives are also strong, smart and brave and deserve to be recognized as such without also being deemed as sexual beings first.







An unusual breakdown of the film, I’m aware but,  I hope this doesn’t deter gentlemen from seeing the film.  Thor was unexpectedly funny with just as much action and a few twists and surprises as well.  I’ll recommend staying until after ALL the credits as there are a couple of scenes.

Video Killed T̶h̶e̶ ̶R̶a̶d̶i̶o̶...Us All.

Here’s a truth.  We are not excellent videographers. We have evolved as story tellers. So, why is it that whenever we see something fantastic, like a concert, or flash mob, or great dance, we feel the need to video document it?

You Sound Stupid, I'm Hanging Up Now

In the middle of an extensive job search, it feels like my skills and talent are becoming less and less desirable.  This isn’t to say that I’m not getting promising hits from station clusters all over the country.  In fact, I’ve averaged about one interview per week.  But, like any talent based job,  you have to be the whole package: talented, beautiful, hard working and smart.

Is that too much to ask from a prospective employer as well? At least the talented and hard working part?  There is nothing more painstaking than preparing for a phone interview when the boss finally calls you and he opens up with the most “puke-y” voice and most ridiculous radio name.  How am I supposed to take any coaching or advice from a person who still believes that programming philosophies from 1987 still are pertinent today?

Henry Winkler as The Fonze from "Happy Days"

There is nothing worse than answering the phone for that big interview you have been preparing for and some fake personality “Hambone Malone” introduces himself.  NOBODY TALKS LIKE THAT. Ever!  But how many of the Hambone Malone’s are still successful today? Not many, but still too many.  It is what I call the Fonzi Syndrome in show business.  Fonzi from Happy Days was so cool for who he was: hitting the jukebox, riding a motorcycle, picking up girls, but Fonzi was good at that when he was in his youth.  Fonzi as a character had no room grow up or evolve.  We fell in love with the man who hit on girls, made the jukebox work and rode motorcycles.  But how long could Fonzi keep up those things?  No one wants to see an old guy hitting on girls or trying to be cool by being a young rebel.

The most successful radio talent today are quirky because they are themselves, not just a character.  These are people who are relate-able, live their lives on the air and can keep their stories simple.  Not only are the best characters great hosts but they are even better listeners.  Longevity in a radio career lies with those who can host and entertain, but grow and evolve with society. 

So while the Hambone Malone’s  may seem cool, they are stuck in a time of radio that doesn’t keep listeners for the long term.  While continuing on the hunt, I look forward to the amazing conversations about programming and marketing philosophies with real people who love this business as much as I do.   The next Mr. Malone will get a dial tone.

For all of the Hambone Malone's, or those that just want to revisit Huey Lewis & The News take us "Back In Time." (This also happen)s to be on the sounds track to one of my all time favorite movies...

Celebrities Are People Too: It's Time For Chris Brown to Wake Up & Take Responsibility

As a radio professional, it is so important to stay on top of current events and news.  Unfortunatly, like most of the U.S., pop culture news is so much easier to digest and have an opinion on than hard news like the fact it is ELECTION DAY!  I partially blame the music business for writing songs that only have :05-:10 second introductions.  These are what we call in the radio biz “talk-overs” or “up ramps.”  When a talented and up-to-date radio professional only gets 5 or 10 seconds to share a story that has truly affected them and elaborate, it tends to be easier and more time efficient to comment of Brangelina’s brood, Renee Zellweger’s face lift, or Drew’s second baby.

Even with fluff stories of Tinseltown, it is easier to celebrate the fun things like babies on the way and scrutinize those that are different or weird (enter Miley Cyrus).  But, while we comment on Tinseltown’s wild and crazy, sometimes the follow up stories get lost.  Take Chris Brown for example; most people only know that in 2009 he committed serious domestic violence against then girlfriend Rihanna.  He has been on probation for that incident ever since and working to clear his name by doing community service and publicly apologizing.  More recently, he was accused of punching a man in the face in Washington D.C. when the man tried to photo bomb Chris and another fan. He has since checked himself into rehab for "anger issues" which is another story and a joke in and of itself which I'll address another time.  I’ve heard debates about Chris Brown and his behavior including Jenny McCarthy on The View discuss how people like Chris Brown (or remember O.J. Simpson) should get pardoned for some behaviors because of how talented they are and look to the body of work they have produced.

Are you kidding me???  I have always been a strong believer that entertainers who are adults with an above average pre-teen and teenage following have a responsibility to act decent and morally.  Now, if Justin Beiber doesn’t want any more young lady fans, then sure continue to act like a punk and see if they still like you then.  Celebrity or not, punishment should fit the crime.  If I were to domestically abuse my husband, but then plea that the judge should look at my entire body of work in the radio industry to help judge my character and allow me to be pardoned for a serious crime, Your Honor would laugh in my face and probably double the fines for my ignorance.

Chris Brown is talented.  The man is also incredibly young.  It will take time for the American people to completely trust him and unconditionally love his music again, especially since Rihanna was, and still is such a powerhouse in pop music.  Michael Vick had to endure a similar long process.  After his dog fighting charges, he served his time in jail, hired a great PR team, publicly apologized, goes on tour to talk about how what he did was wrong and why, and then came back to the NFL.  If the NFL can forgive, then heck, so can I.  Michael Vick, however, owned up to his actions, served his time (without much public complaint) and is working to become the trusted player he once was.

The point is, celebrities are just people. (I use this tactic when interviewing big stars on the air).  They are people who are easy to scrutinize because they are so public.  We compare everything they do to how we act.  They are people, nonetheless, with moms and families, so to think that because Chris Brown is talented in his work that he should be pardoned because he contributes to pop culture more than you, Jenny McCarthy or I do is outrageous.  If this were the case,  then everyone would have some sort of great body of work; “Oh but I have straight A’s this semester,” or “But, I helped unclog 50 drains last week, officer.”  They are just people who make mistakes, like me, but with a bigger platform to share their talents, which does not make them better people, just people with more fans who enjoy their work.  Celebrities just make mistakes on that bigger platform, judged by us all, and should have to take responsibility for their actions because that’s the way the world works. For everyone.