The one common thread that weaves through all of these teachings is authenticity. Be Yourself.
Jesus, what a mind fuck that is. Right? Because we grow up doing as we're told and paying consequences for when we fuck up. We grow up learning how to do and what to be as society/family expects us to be. How do we even know who we are or how to be, authentic?
But what I've found in life, and in art, is that people like people who are themselves. Even if they're an asshole. (Perhaps we limit how much time we spend with that Uncle Asshole, but you still love them.) Because if an asshole is authentic, somehow we are drawn in. Their behavior is real and we don't get the feeling that we are being sold something.
I find that Drew Barrymore is a great example of just...being herself. She has a past with alcohol/drugs and a rough upbringing, but no one worth a damn is shaming her for it. She owns it, learned from it, and keeps going, growing and creating. It's pretty damn magical. And you can see it in her face in every photo and every movie role she plays. Every character is just an extension of Drew. Its so...authentic that we get lost in the rom com for 90 mins and love every second of it.
Authenticity, to me, means embracing every part of yourself. Owning your mistakes and not blaming others when you can't face your fears. The key here, is not blaming others. I feel like I've taken another step deeper into my true self when I realized that my mother is not to blame for my life.
Here's an example:
When I first moved to Los Angeles, I didn't have a car. I somehow managed to scrape together some cash and bought a crappy-looking-but-fun-to-drive 1999 Camaro! Not practical and terrible on gas, but I didn't care, it was mine and I loved that car! I drove down to Orange County to spend time with my mom, and this particular trip she wanted to run lots of errands and make all of these trips. I drove home in intense stop and go traffic and the entire day was too much for my little green monster and it over heated. It would continue to do that on and off for weeks until I fixed the radiator (which didn't fix anything) and then eventually had to scrap the car. (Mostly for parking tickets but that's another story).
My mom came to visit in Los Angeles recently and again, we had a day of driving around, running errands and having lunch...just putzing around; this time in my 2006 Honda Civic. The day she went home, my car started making sounds that the transmission is about to blow up. I've been calling her the car-wrecker for weeks now. But you know what? None of that is her fault! HAHA. It's crazy coincidence. I need to face my responsibilities and take care of my shit. My mom, the car-wrecker, is still pretty funny. But I won't let that previous anger prevent me from taking care of my business.
Authenticly me. Making jokes about something that is kind of a bummer to have to deal with, but I'm dealing with it!
You cannot expect other people to help you avoid your responsibilities. Ask for help in facing them or ask for help in dealing with them, whatever that looks like. Can I borrow cash? A car? Im scared I need a hug, please.
And no one expects you to be perfect. You will make mistakes. Own them. Apologize when you realize what/why you made a mistake and then learn and grow from them.
I had to pick Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off" because she right up top owns the shit. "I stay out too late, I go on too many dates...but that's what people say." Which they say, but she's not denying either. Because the haters hate and its not going to bother her anymore. Authentic. And Real. And Beautiful.
