Naughty With Nature

Halloween is upon us, and with this holiday comes the nightmare after the candy hangover: Christmas season.  We’ll leave the “skipping Thanksgiving” talk for another post.  But, it is this nightmare before Christmas that makes Halloween one of my favorite holidays.

 Think about it: you get to eat your favorite candies guilt free and even cheaper if you wait to buy them November 1st!  It’s also the one time of year where you can make your lawn as ugly (albeit festive) as possible.  Plus, you can wear whatever you want, which means, you can judge whomever you want.  So what could possibly go wrong on Halloween?

It’s not so much that things during parties and festivities amongst ourselves will go wrong.  It is that consumerism nightmare that is changing the best holiday of the year.  Everything has become so naughty!  I’m not talking the trick-or-treat kind of evil doings.  It is the marketing of costumes that has become so bad.  Trust me, I’ve worn my fair share of sexy nurse, naughty witch, and slutty pumpkin costumes; not only are they incredibly liberating, but some psychologists think they may actually be good for you. (Plus, there is the bonus of secretly judging others for picking these costumes when yours is clearly more awesome.  I mean you did after  all win the Best Costume trophy).  But, do our kids really have to be naughty too?

I came across this costume in Walmart last week.  I was whizzing by the Halloween section to pick up some household essentials when this gem-of-a-costume stopped me in my tracks in the main aisle.  Naughty Leopard.  What is striking is that the little girl on the package is so dang cute and smiling.  What did she do to be deemed naughty?  Does that look like the face of someone who just went rogue with a Crayola all over the hallway wall?

The only thing I can think is that the mother of the poor girl who has to be Naughty Leopard this year, has such terribly repressed sexual anxiety, that she has to take it out on her daughter.  Just what we need, a mother daughter sexy duo dressed in animal fur.   I can picture it now, the little girl comes to my front door: “Trick or Treat!”  “Oh, what are you  little girl?”  “A Naughty Leopard!”  Look up, and there is mom, dressed in tight animal print leggings and see-through top, attempting to walk the neighborhood with her daughter in 4” stiletto heels.  I can hear PETA and Vivid Entertainment knocking now.

This wouldn’t even be something that I could sit in the corner and joke about with my friend over martini’s in the corner.  In fact, that combo would be just sad.  I know, it goes back to the whole objectifying girls before they even understand what naughty really means discussion, but couldn’t the costume manufacturer just call her “Incredibly Adorable and Loveable Leopard’? or “Awesomest Animal”?  Seriously, there is nothing naughty about this outfit, nor should there be.





While I rethink my couples Mario and Luigi outfit with my husband for this year's Halloween party (perhaps for a Frumpy Leopard: hey, at least I'll be warm), I'll leave you with Nature's Naughtiest.....

Let me know what you think, or reply with some of your Halloween pet peeves.  Have a fun, safe and sugar-filled holiday!