Thursday, July 14, 2016

Please Feed The DJ:The Food Phenomenon Behind The Scenes In Radio

Dj’s are a very hungry group of people. For the most part, they are underpaid monetarily, and overpaid in food. I can’t count on all of my fingers and toes how many “new” restaurants I have tried on behalf of the radio station I worked at. And it doesn’t stop there. Sales people  are always bringing in samples from their clients or the clients just drop by with a platter of delicious sandwiches, lasagna’s, tacos, BBQ, Chinese food, bagels…so many bagels, donuts, cakes, ice cream sandwiches, cookies, cupcakes…you name it, someone has brought it into the office for everyone to try.
Now, remember how most dj’s are seriously underpaid? We pay rent and then wait on our Costco sized box of ramen noodles ready to pounce on the new Mexican restaurant opening in town for an endorsement deal. We are all so hungry. Literally.
I’ve never worked in a normal office, where you take customer service calls and place orders to make things that get delivered to people who want what you are selling. (Isn’t that what an office is?)  But I’m going to go out on a limb and say that radio stations always have some kind of food being delivered or catered, more so than any other kind of office. (It’s so easy because most of the time, a restaurant wants advertising but can’t afford it so they pay their bill in free food for our meetings/live events/holiday parties/lunch on Tuesday etc. This is called “trade,” or “barter.”)

It’s remarkable how quickly you can gain weight working in radio. It’s easy to sit at the control board, ice cream sandwich in one hand, computer mouse in the other just reading today’s gossip headlines and eating. Readin’ and eatin’. (Actually, I’m doing that as I type. Munching on popcorn and writing. Munchin’ and writin’. LOL) You are around listeners in a bar where all you want is a drink to relax, then someone says “Hey! They are giving away free hot dogs; you should get one.” Three dogs and two beers down, you are fat and happy and no longer do Jane's ramblings about her kids favorite TV program annoy you at the live show.
I have had my fair share of ramen, praying that tomorrow Jimmy John’s was going to stop in with samples. “All you have is bologna. Ok. Beggars can’t be choosers.” Talk about a glorious day when the boss wanted to take you and your morning show partner out for lunch, just because he didn’t want to eat alone. This always meant left overs!!! The problem is, I’d always be so hungry and malnourished that I would eat that entire pecan salad from Applebee’s because “the dressing wouldn’t keep anyway.” Way too many mozarella sticks and no togo box later, I had a food coma that left me guilty for days.

Now, add in an eternal struggle with food...perfect recipe for an emotional disaster. After those lunches with the boss I'd be obsessed with running and high protein diets for rest of the week. Come Friday morning my cohost would think I was ill and acting like a b*tch because I worked out too hard and ate too little even though Steve in sales brought in that box of donuts from Fred’s Gourmet Donuts. “Just one. I need to even out my blood sugar.” I’d get through the rest of the day, tying up loose ends for the weekend and managed not to snap at my cohost again the rest of the morning. A quick apology, snag a donut for the road and off I was to enjoy the weekend. Full of guilt and ramen. (And hopefully a date to somewhere nicer than Applebees.)

This cycle is vicious and tough to break. Now that I work at iHeart Media in Los Angeles, I feel like the stakes are MUCH higher. There is food 4 out of 5 days of the week. This is no exaggeration. Pizza, cake, Chinese, taco platters, fruit platters, sandwiches, ice cream socials. The worry is the same, but what’s being served is slightly different. It seems, healthier.
Los Angeles has some of the best dining in the country. Never have I ever tasted such pure, organic, fresh foods before. The seafood is unbelievable. Vegetables are crispier here. The fruit…so sweet. And the amount of options for restaurants is incredible. I just had Korean BBQ downtown last weekend. I swear there were no preservatives. All made fresh. From scratch. Delicious!

What’s being offered as a “reward” or as a “perk” or “payment” in the kitchen at iHeart Los Angeles is by far the healthiest cuisine I’ve seen at a radio station yet. Pico de gallo and corn chips, fruit platters, salads, sherbert. Sure there are cakes and bagels and Chinese food to mix it up. But the offerings are healthy, and the portions are smaller because there are so. many. people.

I look around the office and not only are there some of the most talented people working in programming, creating content for the world to consume, but there are some of the most good looking sales staff I’ve ever encountered. Everyone dresses like a million bucks. People are thin, tanned, and in shape. Their hair is well done, make up on point. People look good here.
This is a bizarre spot to be in.  Terrified to have some sherbert for fear of the extra calories added to my day and worried that I just can’t possibly scarf down another PB&J sandwich when I get home. I mean, I want to look so good! Fit in with all the beautiful, talented people. Yet the thought that ramen noodles are on the menu again tonight has me dreading leaving the office looking for a way to box up some chicken and broccoli to take home.

The struggle is real and I believe that people in L.A., outside of the radio station feel it too, because everyone is so beautiful here. For example, I went on a date with a guy to a sushi restaurant. I ordered a roll, and he ordered a roll. I noticed about half way through that he hadn’t touched his sushi at all. When I asked him about it, he said “I just like to order things and look at them. I can’t eat this. I’ll get fat.” Verbatim. I scarfed down my sushi and then a few pieces of his. (Because really, who only eats one roll of sushi. I’m always hungry again in like 2 hours!)
People are obsessed with what they put into their bodies in this city.  And they should be! There is more variety of fruits, vegetables and meats than anywhere I’ve ever lived. I’ve also never SEEN so many things labeled “organic.”

My new approach? Embrace it. Enjoy it! Food is beautiful here. Tasting (just like looking) is not only encouraged but expected! I’ve finally come to a place where I know what foods make me really sick (dairy and red meat and vegan cheese, if you can call that food) so I avoid them. Rather I take walks to the local fruit truck to snack on mangos and pistachios. Walking, hiking and yoga are all extra parts of my life now, mostly because they are free to do and partially because parking is costly and time consuming.

So bring it on, LA! I’m ready to taste everything you’ve got. Unless it has dairy in it. Seriously, I’ll be sick for days.
 
"Eat It" Weird Al
"Don't you know that some kids are starving in Japan/So Eat it. Just eat it."
Thank you Weird Al, I will.

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