Being Different for Different's Sake: Am I annoying or just really being myself?

When I was a younger person in college, I found a pattern in my sociology studies: people don't really want to stand out. We all just want to fit it. People want to be accepted at work and liked by their peers. Our fear is, however, that if we are radically different from our friends then they won't like us anymore. Take my personal story for example.

Right out of high school, I got a job at a local restaraunt diner, Ruby's, to supplement my life while I went to community college. It's what everybody did. We were just trying to figure out...oh, ya know, LIFE. A new girl got hired at the Ruby's location I worked at, but she was a hostess and I didn't see her very much. Many of my coworkers kept coming up to me, "Maggi, there is this new girl, Sabrina, you two are like the same person." What??? Not uh! I mean, I didn't have a grasp on anything at the ripe old age of 18, but I did know that I was a happy kid and I liked adventures. When I finally met Sabrina, I didn't really see what everyone was talking about. I mean, she had a great laugh, but, we didn't look alike. We certainly didn't think the same. She had so much more experience with people than I did. (She was popular in high school, and I was...so uncool that people knew me because I was a dork). She could do her hair, she got pedicures on the reg, and this girl went out dancing. Dancing!

One of Sabrina's favorite stories to tell is of how we became more than just coworkers. Here's the short version: She invited me and my friend, Melissa, to go to a gay club with her and her friends. Melissa bailed and I showed up. Apparently that was really friggin cool and we were pretty much inseparable ever since. Turns out, we WERE almost like the same person.

Life then happened, ya know, I got career serious and moved to follow that dream around the country; she got family serious and found a rad husband and made some pretty cool kids. We just celebrated her birthday and had probably one of the best conversations we've ever had. I told her how cool I thought she was and she laughed in my face. "I've had someone else's puke in my mouth and you think I'm cool!???"

This was not the reaction I was expecting. I mean, she is like super mom. Always put together, she is the most patient person with her kids. She is doing really well at work, has great fashion sense, and managed to surround herself with some great women. I, on the other hand, left everything I had going for me: an awesome job, a few rungs up on the comedy ladder, so many friends, bills paid on time without help. And then I moved. Away from it all to try out a new dream. And I've been feeling foolish. Here I was watching this person that I thought I was JUST LIKE, and she seems to have it all. When all along, she was experiencing the same exact feelings as me. (She though I was cool...the first and last person over the age of 15 ever).

We are so not the same anymore. I've never had puke in my mouth, and she hates being on stage. But that doesn't mean I don't love and cherish all the things about her that are different from me! She is still my most special friend. Peas and Carrots as Forrest Gump would say. And I know she doesn't hate me, yet, because I'm not the same kid that wanted to drive up and down Pacific Coast Highway with her. (She can't hate me, she's letting me live with her and her family until I can get on my feet again).

Still not convinced it is totally ok to be different than other people? Last week, I was invited to participate in an improv practice with a fairly new team. Now, there are different styles of improv but they are all generally the same idea. You listen, agree with your partner that what you are doing on stage is real, and then you reply to them with hopefully something witty, or at least really interesting. (In the biz, they call that raising the stakes or heightening the scene.) The team I had been with on and off for several years liked to edit scenes with a big "Ssswwiishhhh." So if the people on stage had been stalling, or nothing funny or interesting was happening, then someone would walk in front of them and "swish" the scene to cut to the next thing. Apparently, that was the weirdest damn thing the team had ever heard of because their version of "swish" was just a jog in front of the people on stage.

The "swish" was at first really embarrassing. But, how was I supposed to know they did the same activity differently? They all thought this was the funniest damn thing. I felt really badly at first, because I wanted these improvisors to like me and let me play on their team. I had just done something so terribly awkward and different, how was I to ever come back from that? Turns out, I didn't need to. The team is sweet and talented and seemed really excited to have me come back. Did you read that correctly, they WANTED me to come back. Weird Swishes and all.

I think that it was my different way of thinking that got these guys excited. They are all just people, and probably really relieved that they weren't the ones this week to look ridiculous.

So I won't be afraid of being different. Difference isn't bad and I promise that the world isn't full of a bunch of dickheads walking around going "Ewwww, gross, that girl is different." Well, unless you are in high school. Then I'd say, hang in there. The world does become kinder. Instead of "ewww, gross" it evolves into "whoa, that's different. How did you do that?" Bonus life tip: Those curious folks are the ones you want to keep around you.

I'll keep rocking on with my bad ass self because a) I've never had puke in my mouth and b) swish is the cool sound a basketball makes when you get points. Isn't the planet full of enough people that think and act the same?Share your story of how you stood out from the rest of the crowd and how it positively impacted your life. maggimayfield@gmail.com

This song is a no brainer choice....be uniquely you, and I love you just the way you are. Rock on!

But Mom, you said boys that hit me in school, like me: A Tragically Funny Story About Domestic Violence.

Stories about domestic violence generally aren't funny. The women brave enough to come out and talk about them honestly and openly are going through a very messed up reflection of who they were before, during and after their scary relationship. (This is a TED talk that started my research into what happened to me)My story, however, is so ridiculous, even mere days after the event, that I didn't want to wait to share. Deep breath. Here goes.

Once upon a time, okay, last year in March, I went to a friend's wedding. My best guy friend's wedding. He met the girl of his dreams and I loved her instantly. She helped me swipe on Tinder for the sake of my new found comedy hobby. I needed new material and the engaged couple needed to be reminded why you don't want to be dating in your thirties. Well, late one night while the gang was performing some terrible karaoke, we came across a very handsome man whose profile picture was of him base jumping off a cliff, naked. So very naked. Swipe Right. Yes puh-lease. It's a match! Hopefully a fun first date in my future or at the very least, some potentially good comedy fodder.

Unfortunately, Mr. Naked Cliff Jumper and I never met up. Wedding festivities had me pretty busy and I honestly was only looking for new comedy material. I get back to Chicago, and we wind up talking on the phone for almost 3 hours the first night. I couldn't even tell you what about. It was amazing. It was like I met my best friend on the phone for the first time. Two weeks later I jumped back on a plane to go meet him. I was terrified. We had spent every night on the phone since our initial chat. I was already enamoured before I got on the plane and I think I just wanted to know if the actual intimate sex was going to be as good as the mind sex. Oh, let me tell you, it was!

Not long after that amazing weekend, he left all of his clients behind to move in with me for the summer in Chicago land. My lease was ending in August and I had fallen so head over heels for this comedy thing, I thought I would leave Illinois and head back to California, where my family is, and pursue my dreams. He was so along for the ride. Charming, fun to be around, and seemingly supportive at first, my friends, at least in the comedy world, really liked him. He had a mohawk and talked to my friends. A huge and positive improvement over my ex. What's not to like? He was fun and I was happy.

But then something started happening. He started telling me that I shouldn't be staring at other guys all night at the clubs. "But I wasn't." I'd retort, and he'd just pout and yell until I understood that my eyes were for him only. I started becoming afraid to talk to people, to meet people. He'd tell me that I'm too much of a control freak and that I'd need to go with the flow. He started spending my money on things that didn't make sense. He convinced me to steal. He never tried to get a job or some part time work while he lived with me. I was exhausted by the fights over how insecure he was with the amount of gentleman friends I have. I hang out with other comedians. A lot of whom are men. Dopey, funny, men.

I was under a spell. I was slowly being brain washed and I had no idea. (You know, because that's what happens when you are brainwashed.) I could tell I was being muted. My enthusiasm for life was disappearing. I was exhausted. I just wanted to keep the peace. When we'd fight, he'd ignore me for days at a time and the only way to regain his attention was to perform sexual acts. He degraded me. He despised my independent spirit. He controlled me.

We went on a road trip from Chicago to LA. The idea was to kayak and perform comedy all the way across the country. What I wanted out of the trip quickly became a non-priority, as long as we were fishing and kayaking and drinking beer everyday. I wanted his attention so badly, that it didn't matter what was happening I just wanted to keep the peace and keep his attention.

Fast forward through the 7 week road trip where we wound up very broke. A friend of his called and said he needed help getting back into his home after a natural disaster. Mr. Naked Cliff Jumper was ready to go chase that dolla dolla bill ya'll. I was finally home and didn't want to leave. But I didn't want to let him off the hook for spending all of my money either. So, off to the natural disaster area we went. Typical domestic violence case. Mind control...then isolate. I knew no one. I was just not the same girl that left Illinois. I hadn't performed comedy in so long. I couldn't do anything right to please him. I didn't know who I was and I didn't know how to get out.

Finally, after having been ignored for so long and then yelled at for trying to use my brain, I snapped. I said that I had had enough. I was out. Leaving. Mr. Naked Cliff Jumper didn't like that at all; he went from being Mr. Suave to Mr. Manchild. Pouting, yelling and then throwing my computer. Changing the password to the only computer that made me money a la voice acting. (He changed it to "lyingcunt," for the record. My mother was actually impressed he could spell it correctly). Then he tried to be nice to me to get money from me to move back to LA, where we had a storage unit together. He stomped his feet and yelled at me. Called me every version of the 'c' word he could come up with. Tried regaining any shred of control by taking his time packing his things into the UHaul I rented to gtfo of smallest town, USA. Seriously, no taxis, no buses, no trains, planes or rental cars. There were no limos, Lyfts or Ubers. My only choice was a damn UHaul.

But, even after everything we had been through, I didn't want to be a jerk and not help him get all of his belongings in one place. With no legal license or credit card, I thought I could help him move one last time. Biggest. Mistake. He was so scary that day. There was no reasoning. I wasn't strong enough to just help myself, but I wasn't going to just take his b.s. lying down, either. His body language was mean. He wanted to play keep away with the keys. I wasn't going to get a key to our storage unit AND he was going to lock up the uHaul which had both of our belongings in the back. I wanted a key to one of those things. I was furious and I wasn't going to take his b.s. lying down. So I took his helmet and riding jacket and locked them in the cab until I could get a key. Either one.

Mr. Manchild didn't trust me with either and I just wanted to get this show on the road. So I opened the cab on the passenger side. His helmet was sitting on top of my big bag of bathroom essentials. He came in so close to me that I was scared he was going to hit me then. He didn't. But that's because I threw his helmet across the driveway just to get him to step away from me. Apparently, I broke the dang thing. Mr. Manchild didn't like that one bit. So, to retaliate, he took my bathroom bag and chucked it across the driveway and across the yard. I went to collect my belongings as I quietly and (eerily) ever so calmly told our hosts not to worry because it "was just stuff, after all."

The dispersing of my belongings wasn't quite enough because he did manage to find my birth control pills and bury all of those in the mud. Like a dog. After stomping on those he then went back into the cab for more. He found my sunglasses and stomped on those. Tore up my snacks. Don't mess with my snacks! He even left my prescription glasses on the ground ready for a good romping. He noticed I was collected my birth control and came over to grab those out of my hand. He grabbed my hand and wrist to get me to let go yelling in my face "WHY DO YOU NEED YOUR WHORE PILLS?" My hands were covered in mud from trying to unearth his temper tantrum. I open handed slapped him across the face and walked away. Eerily calm. And then it hit me. His closed fist on the back of my head. I don't remember it, but our lovely hosts said I screamed. All I remember is feeling like "here it comes...the beating of my lifetime."

Our host came to stop him from going any further. I was walking away, much faster now. In between the sobs and pounding adrenaline in my head I heard him yell "If she can hit like a man she can take one like a man." I must have one gnarly open handed slap. Makes me wish he felt my right cross thanks to all the Jillian Michaels videos I have been doing!

I rushed inside and called the police that I had on speed dial. The entire day I had made sure I wasn't alone with him. Everything had happened so fast. Even though the cops were on the phone, I suddenly felt so isolated and alone. He saw me on the phone crying and knew I had called the cops. I looked around and no one was in the house any more. He chased me outside and on to the porch where there were many others and I felt surrounded and empowered by numbers. To me, these people were strangers, but somehow, they made me feel less crazy. I didn't know it then, but I am not the psycho he made me out to be.

You know how if you hit your sister just a little too hard, she'd start crying. Immediately you think "Shit...you're OK. You're fine. Shhh....Don't tell mom." I think I half expected him to react that way. But while I stood protected by the numbers of people on the porch that afternoon, he continued to yell at me. "GET IN THE CAR, MAGGI. GET IN THE CAR AND LETS DRIVE." I was going no where.

Was anyone laughing at this scene? I wish I wasn't IN the scene because watching a grown man bury a woman's birth control and then stomp on it would have been hilarious to watch. Partly because a dog would have buried it better AND peed on it to declare his ownership. All I got was a punch in the head. From behind. Coward.

I should be glad though. No one has ever hit me before! Never. Not once. In my whole life. I did want the boys to like me so much in school. I wanted to be pinched and hit on the arm. I should be so glad, that finally, someone loves me so much that he can punch me in the back of my head. I should feel the warm, fuzzy glow that comes along with a crush...a love like that.

But instead, Mr. ManChild, I am left with fear. My heart skips a beat whenever I hear a motorcycle come up from behind me because I'm worried that you know where I live and have followed me. I cannot seem to leave my room to go meet new people for fear that I don't know how to talk to someone new. I don't even want to make love to myself because you left such a nasty taste in my mouth. Okay, I won't stop making love to myself, but the scar is there.

My story of domestic violence is no where near as violent, or scary, or deadly as some I have heard. This, however, is not a competition. I was vulnerable, I got hurt and the signs and pattern of abuse is the same. Perhaps the story is, indeed, just as scary as some, but I am stronger than most. I can laugh with my mother about the horrible names he called me. I can get onstage and talk about this. I will heal. I will love myself again. I will get back to normal. Because to me, you are now but a mere tragically funny memory.


I'm not the only one that can find the humor in domestic violence. Instead of a music video, here is comedian Bill Burr's take on the subject.

 

The Drama of Good Bye: You Can Keep It

The Drama of Good Bye: You Can Keep It

Good bye's. Usually, I like to skip 'em because quite selfishly, I'd like to have all the wonderful people I know living within a 100 mile radius of each other. So I'd cheekily say things like "Its not good bye, it's 'I'll see you later.'" But doesn't that sound like something we say to protect those we love?

It can't always be "see you later," right? Sometimes, it really does have to be "good bye." So who am I protecting, really, when I mark this huge change with a very casual, and usual hug and "later gator!"

I just quit my job. I put in a two month notice which felt like torture. Two months of people asking questions about my unnamed successor. Two months of people wondering "Where are you going to live?" and "do you have a job lined up yet?" I get that these questions are probably out of concern for my well-being, but most likely curiousity because who in their right mind quits their job with nothing else planned? No back up. No Plan B. It was just two months of saying "I don't know."

Dammit, there is a lot of insecurity that comes along with that phrase. I don't know. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I don't know. "What's your major?" I don't know. "Do you want to get married?" I DON'T KNOW!

So two months of build up and a whole lot of "I don't knows" later, everything felt so, damn, dramatic. Everything was the last time of this, and the last chance of that, or the only time I'll get to do this. How exhausting!!! It really was for everyone else, too; the whole "Maggi's Final Parade" was all planned by everyone else. (The only thing I made a really big deal about was having lunch at the bakery down the street from my apartment. They had the best gourmet cupcakes, ever. Red Velvet with a cheesecake middle and vanilla frosting. Hello! Salivating yet?) Instead, I was way to busy with training my replacement, packing, forwarding mail, finding a vehicle that could get me across the country to my general destination, and tying up the last few general loose ends that you NEVER forsee coming. So if this was the last time, friend, to hang out or eat at our favorite place, why was it up to me to make it happen? There is suddenly a whole lot extra on my plate.

Now, not to sound like a selfish asshole who doesn't care about her friends, because I do! I really do! I WANT to hear about your promotion/break up/mamma drama/insert your life stuff here. I'm just a little preoccupied to reach out and find out what that vague Facebook post was about. I love you, but right now I need you to bat me over the head and TELL me what the heck is going on, because I just made a huge life decision and I'm trying not to question myself every day.

So, with two months of answering a bunch of the same questions with "I don't knows," letting go of arguably one of the coolest gigs AND training my replacement, perhaps it IS me that I am protecting with a simple "See you later." The pressure is already there. I just don't want to heighten the drama anymore by giving you the proper good bye you probably deserve. You see, I already have 2500 miles in front of me to think about what I just did, and what I decided will be my life in front of me. There's no turning back now. The decision is made and I have to follow through. That's dramatic enough. So, for tonight, I'd like to just have a drink with my friend like nothing is ever going to change.

Interns: A Not So Secret Love Affair

Interns. I love them and I need them.  Why did I wait so long to “hire” them? I wish I could really hire them right now!  Let me back up.

I have been dilly dawdling on bringing on an intern since I started here over a year ago as the Program Director. I struggled to learn this position and build a new station, essentially from the ground up. My thought was perhaps, that an intern would get in the way or maybe that I would wind up teaching them more than I would be learning to be successful in my position. Boy, I could not have been more wrong.

One of them (yes I have more than one, two in fact) we’ll call them Intern A, had been emailing me consistently for 11 months before I called them in to talk. I instantly fell in love!  Intern A talked a lot in school about how great of a time they were having working together with me. A professor contacted me and referred over Intern B who is equally as wonderful.

Here is why they are so great as humans: They both bring different perspectives to the table. They each have different gender identities, experiences (one is really into TV and the other really into country music), levels of passion, and different strengths and weaknesses. Where one is really strong, let’s say in producing commercials, the other is really great at coming up with compelling on air content or internet research. They work together and help each other and they are both so happy to be in the building.

Here is why they are so great for the building: They are both so happy to be there. Simple as that. It’s like I forgot that magic feeling when you get a new opportunity; to be able to walk into a room and show off even the few skills I have.  By teaching them and watching them teach each other, I become a better talent, and quite frankly, a better human being. Their fresh energy is contagious. I want to come up with exciting things for them to do each day. I want to set an example for what they should expect in this business.

Today, in fact, I was helping Intern B put together a solid demo tape, so they could have something tangible to help get a job. It was challenging to describe exactly what a program director will be looking for and how some of the audio they put together just wasn’t “it.”  The eagerness to please was adorable. My desire to help them get stronger and advocate for themselves is more important for them in the long run, so rather than just accepting the work because a) it was really cute how they wanted to impress me and I want to be impressed or b) it wasn’t as good as mine (maybe, that’s so subjective) and that means less competition, I really listened to what Intern B presented and critiqued it. Critically. I had to get out of my comfort zone and say why I thought something could be better.*  That, was really difficult for me.

So, why did I wait so long to get an intern, or two? I don’t know. Fear. Business. Who knows. I am sure glad that I have two of them that bring so much to the table and actually help me become a better talent, a better leader, and an all around better human being.

To my interns and interns everywhere...thank you.


 *Note how I said something could be better, not something isn’t great. Intern B’s work was okay. It was passable. But I wanted their demo to really showcase their strengths, which I recognize because I’ve been working with Intern B for a couple months now. A new program director, however; won't so easily be able to spot those great qualities unless he pounds them over the head with it in that demo! Again, it was still really difficult for me to say that, but the reward will be when Intern B gets a great gig. I guess I'll deal with the awkward "sorry to hurt your feelings" guilt.

 To the Left: Here are the two people who make me work harder and therefore make me a better on air talent. Samantha and Dominick right at the beginning of their internships.

Look! They bring treats unannounced...I trained them so well. (Okay, I've actually NEVER asked them to get me coffee, so this was pretty amazing)








 I have however, sent them on shopping sprees to update the Prize Vault I keep for my listeners.











Here we are after a great lesson in throwing away all of your show prep when something else better comes up! 'Go with your gut' was that days mantra, literally. (We were arguing about whether or not to order your food online or over the phone, so I said, "Wait a minute, let's talk about this on the air." The phones blew up that afternoon!)


Want to know them better?
Contact Samantha here.
Contact Dominick here.

Answer The Phone: A Radio DJ’s Guide to Getting Live and Local

Live and Local: you’ve heard it more times than you’ve watched Friend’s reruns.  Those ridiculous promotions meetings and meetings with your PD about how to get the station to sound more Live and Local. What does that even mean?  In a small market, where funds are as hard to come by as interns, the challenge of making your station sound  “Live and Local,“ seems like a never ending uphill battle where you always lose.  The only way I have figured out how to keep my GM from saying those dreaded words “We need to sound more ‘Live and Local,‘” is by answering the damn phone.

Answer the phone!  This still seems to be the way that most GM’s and persons in charge find that a radio station sounds “live and local.”  I’ll save the “how to get a listener to call me” blog post for another time, but while I recognize the challenges of getting a phone call in the first place, as a personality, why aren’t we taking more advantage of each golden opportunity, as few and far between as they come. So here are a few sure fire things that have worked for me in the studio.

When a listener does call, RECORD it! You have no idea what they are going to say, what they might want, how chatty they might be or what they might think about a particular topic.

Doesn’t matter how chatty your listener is, they are probably calling just to request a song, which will be extremely difficult to play that request soon unless it happens to be in power, or heavy rotation.  That is why you SAVE the call.  Just because a listener calls to only request a song, doesn’t mean  you can’t use that phone call later in the show, or even later in the week.  I’ve been known on slow show prep days to use phone calls that are months old!

Now that you have the listeners attention, remember, this is a golden opportunity to sound live and local. Keep them on the phone for as long as you can! Ask them anything.  You’ve been show prepping, you know about the town. Ask her about how excited she is for spring because the new ice cream shop opened up around the corner, or ask her about the construction that makes traffic on 45/52 about 10x more horrific, or even ask her about her day.  All of these questions could lead to other follow up phone calls! 

You may think that there are enough ice cream shops in town, but adding a new one just makes you excited for warm weather and never having to eat the same flavor twice this summer. What’s the best ice cream in town? BAM! Now you’ve got a town wide debate that could cross over onto your social media platforms well after you’ve discussed it on the air.

The traffic sucks. What is the best back route to avoid that terrible construction?  Now you’ve just connected someone in the know, with ALL OF YOUR LISTENERS!  You have now just become a place people can turn to for great ideas and solutions to problems all of your neighbors are facing.

Asking about her day just makes her feel heard and understood.  She’s not the only one who had a lousy Monday at work. Make her the voice of all your other loyal fans, who haven’t happened to call yet.  The struggle is real, but that doesn’t mean any one of us should go through it alone.

A request is nice. A request is easy.  But ask your listener about their life…and you’ve got a fan for, well… life!  Plus, they’ll call again and you have instantly made your show sound LIVE (because you play the phone calls on the air) and LOCAL (because you ask them to talk about life in your town).

The beauty about getting one person to call in, is that other people hear them on the radio and it becomes engrained in their head that it is in fact OK to call and it is encouraged.  Hopefully, within six months, your show is THE place to call and get heard and get on the air.

Lastly, make sure to THANK them for calling.  Calling people on the phone is not fun, for anyone.  Think about it, we live in a texting, FB messaging, tweeting, don’t look directly or speak directly to my face kind of world. So when some one decides to actively engage with you via old school methods like voice calling. THANK them for their time, because it is valuable, and they just made your show better without compensation. So thank them. Bonus points if you throw in the “Thanks for calling, and I’ll talk to you soon!”  They’ll remember, and call you again.  So Answer the damn phone already. (Mostly because you can't screen them in the studio, unless your studio has fancy equipment to do that.)

Snap Chat: Creating Urgency and Communicating in Real Time with Radio Listeners

Radio sounds like such an old medium in today’s technologically advanced world.  Seriously, when you Google “radio” the images that come up are antique pieces of equipment or drawings of them.  I think that despite all of the new ways to consume music and pop culture, radio seems to be keeping up, or is it.

There are so many arguments about the way people consume music and pop culture, news and information that may leave us radio folk in the dust. There are also counter arguments about how radio is the fastest medium to deliver all of this information.  While both need to be considered in order for this industry to stay afloat, it is the channels and way we communicate with our listeners that may be the demise of our business from relevancy.

So many contests are built around calling in, or showing up somewhere. But think about it. When was the last time you made a phone call outside of work or checking in with you mom?  Right?  We can even order pizza and groceries as well as schedule a majority of appointments via the web. 

I know, personally, I get so frustrated trying to get listeners to call in to communicate with me on my show, when really, I should be reaching out to communicate with them.  Honestly, the reason that radio is still on top of other mediums like Pandora and Spotify, is because there is someone communicated real, human, things to the listener. (At least the great personalities do)

But is Facebook really enough?  Is Twitter really going to reach your listener?  They could be!  But aside from giving out your personal cell phone to text your listeners, how do you reach them now?! How do we get to them to give the sense of urgency that listening right NOW is important, rather than posting surveys and meme’s for consumption LATER?

This is why radio struggles: our business is built of the necessity of consuming (listening) NOW while Pandora, pod casts, television, DVR, Twitter and Facebook all work and make millions of dollars because you can consume (absorb information) when you have time or when you want.!

  What about Snapchat?  I’m not kidding!! You may think this is a silly app that helps single people take guilt free nude selfies, but research shows that a majority of people use it to share silly events happening all around them.

I’ve tossed out my snapchat info and listeners LOVE IT!  They snap me, I give them a shout out on the air, and I ALWAYS snap them back.  Either a picture of me with a fun face, or of a song coming up they requested.  The best part is, that it hits TWO main mediums. Photos…and the new art of communication! 

The recent negative press is worrisome!  However, the data leak caused trouble for people who had things to hide, such as sexts and discreet chat snaps to people you don’t know.  Each report of the information that was leaked did say that the number was NOT entirely leaked, rather that all but the last two digits were revealed as well as usernames.  If you are sharing  your username to get listeners to communicate with you in real time anyway, then your personal phone number is the only information that is in jeopardy of being leaked.  However, each of these reports say that there is still a one in 100 chance that your personal cell phone could be identified.

Here’s the interesting part and why you shouldn’t be so worried about SnapChat. You are already using Facebook.  Make sure you double check your privacy settings because so many users and personalities have their cell phone number available in the “ABOUT” section.  You are far less likely to have your cell phone number revealed via Facebook than through SnapChat.

So I say, SNAP away!  My listeners absolutely love it.  It gives us something to talk about when we do finally meet at a Live Show and helps me to put a face to our listener.  Isn’t that the most important part in the first place….speaking directly to the reason radio works in the first place? 

3 Months Later: An Update on Being the Boss and Other Life Lessons

It has officially been three months since I have signed on to be the program director of my own station.  I’ll give you the short of the long of it because this "Person-In-Charge" position has been quite the roller coaster ride.

My very first day as Program Director, back in March, I showed up dressed to impress (all professional-like).  The receptionist was very kind and as we exchanged pleasantries, my boss walked by and scurried me quickly into the conference room where we sat for over three hours.  This was the part where I got my office keys and learned exactly what would be expected of me.  Mind you, the entire packet was read to me, like I was in a kindergarten reading circle, but was expected to take notes.

I chatted with the receptionist again later in the afternoon; we are about the same age and his desk is decorated with lots of famous band’s LP’s.  He told me on that day how awful things were and how he was leaving to move to another city where his famous friends live.  ON MY FIRST DAY!  The rest of the introductions were kind of a whirl wind.  The basic take away from the day is that everyone was terrified  to meet me and that my cheery disposition seemed to calm a few nerves.




I drove the hour and twenty minute drive home scanning the radio to learn all about the new competition.  Nothing but static and oldies.  Shifty and sore from sitting so long, I shuffled to my couch and just started crying.  What was I thinking?!  A solid hour and twenty minute drive one way to go to a job where I’m reporting to a man that treats his employees like they are children and don’t know anybody where in return they all clearly detest their job.

There is no fun, no drama, no cliques, no WI-FI, no pictures of any of the on air talent, no Buzzfeed, nor are there any lunches in the fridge to snoop through. This is not a radio station cluster full of loveable weirdos who try to out do each other.  There were certainly no pranks, no impromptu bar crawls after work and definitely no pow-wows in the studio. No, rather, I walked into a mountain of negativity with the responsibility of a station that has never been set up to succeed and a staff of people who have never before worked in the radio biz.

For some reason, my kind and supportive husband convinced me to give it another try.  Just get up and try again. I went, and although much less eventful, the puzzle of what I had to work with was becoming clearer. Everyone has just always been told no. Ideas, creativity, and possibility has been stifled for so long; how was I going to help everyone get to a place where their thoughts were not only welcomed, but their ideas were encouraged?

Fast forward three months later: This is still a challenge. My tactic thus far has to just ask guiding questions to help others’ come to their own conclusions. I truly believe that we are all perfectly capable of coming to our own conclusions, so asking a few guiding questions usually puts them on a path to figure out their original questions.

What is great about the position, is that I have learned a lot about being a boss:

1. You have to have some great perseverance. I could have quit after one day.  I wanted to quit after one day, but I didn’t.  I showed up and tried again.  I make mistakes, my employees make mistakes, but they are hiccups and we just have to keep going.  Creating and thriving means not quitting because this one thing didn’t work out.  If I don’t keep going, how can I expect anyone else to keep going?
2. You HAVE to learn things quickly.  Not only am I learning this brand new job position which harbors MORE responsibility than I ever thought, but I have to teach everyone else how their jobs work and why they are so important.  I’ve needed to figure out new software quickly and spin about 12 plates at the same time in order to spend more time coaching and teaching others’ in the building.  Learn your position as quickly as possible, so you can spend more time with those around you
3. Delivering bad news is difficult, but not impossible.  I may be a boss, but I also have a boss that I need to keep happy.  In order to do that, I sometimes have to say things that are shitty to hear to people with big egos.  But, I do it.  I don’t wait.  I don’t like it, but you have to rip it off like a Band-Aid.  The quicker you do it, the less pain you feel.
4. Just because you are the boss, does not mean you do all the talking.  In fact, this position has reinforced how important it is to listen to others, especially those with whom you work.  Communication is key. I never just spring something on them.  There is always a warning period. I do this because hearing them talk about how excited they are about a certain promotion that we are going to do,  or how confused they are that our music play list doesn’t have a ton of variety is only what makes me a better person in charge. Without knowing what drives them, excites them, disappoints them or frustrates them, how am I expected to create a radio station brand that they are excited about with knowing exactly what those things are.  This process is still in the early stages for me, so this is a trial-and-error period for us.  I do believe that process will never end, and it shouldn’t.  People change, I will change, our culture will change and in order to be a success, our radio brand will have to change as well.
5. Sometimes the answer has to be “Because we are getting paid to do it this way.”  When you work in an industry that harbors big egos, you have to be the one that says “just….because.”
6. Rewarding employees is the best feeling in the world!  When they succeed, YOU succeed.  Giving someone the last pair of tickets to a concert because you know how hard they are working and how much they are trying is absolutely the best part of the job.

This is not an exhaustive list about how to be a great boss or leader, rather, it is a reflection on what has been working throughout my learning process. I am very grateful for the three short months that I have held this position of “Person-In-Charge.”  It is not easy and I am far from good at it, in fact, I’m still learning. I am, however, enjoying the learning process, grateful for the challenges, and still hating the long commute.